Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
