tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
my nose is crying tears of wow.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
