yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
