I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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