I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
