why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
