if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
