too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
