Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
