You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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