I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
