last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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