i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
