Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
