so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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