Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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