Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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