the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize