I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
being pregnant is like rehab
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
