I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
