your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize