i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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