I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
honey bunches of taint.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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