I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
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It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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