I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
