I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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