Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
