; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I could make wine with my vomit
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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