it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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