would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
