thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch