The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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