Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
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My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?