genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
