So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
