i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
