I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
