Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
