Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When are your genitals available?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
