You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
