He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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