Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
