So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
