College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
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I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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