Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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