then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
