believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Found your dick twin last night
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
