ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
