6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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