Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
