If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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