Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize