Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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