They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
