i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
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I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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