the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
