My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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