rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
In America we eat man semen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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