so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
