i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
