I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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