She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
