How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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