does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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