She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
