We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
