how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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