You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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